Neki
EcoGrid Master
Just a Doll in a Belfry
Posts: 683
RP Characters: Mykah Mikelle, Shinrah Marr, Lyr Ballamy
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Post by Neki on May 11, 2010 10:51:03 GMT -5
Ok, so this has to do with the rp, but I wasn't sure where to put it. I've noticed lately my character Neko is kind of..... wayward. She's gotten off and I need to partially rewrite her profile. But first, I want to give everyone a chance to rag on my character. Tell me what you think was bad, good, I don't care. It'll help me make her better and not so stupid. Because she's kind of a character at the moment who thinks she can do everything.
Have fun, and welcome to The Rag. lol
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imelza0
Metal Kor
[M:-900]
Stegosaurus
Posts: 116
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Post by imelza0 on May 11, 2010 22:56:31 GMT -5
Ok, disclaimer, first of all, I have friends who rp all the time, and spend most of their time writing, so I'm used to critiquing, but I can be a bit harsh at times. So, I really like Neko, but I agree with you, I think your character can do too much. I struggle with the same problem, but I think it will really help you if you decide on a weakness for her to have, and then stick to it. Does she get angry all the time? Is she a really fragile person? Is she overcome with jealousy some times? I think it will help to give her an emotional weakness that your character will have to learn to cope with, and cannot change. Having a drastic weakness for your character helps to make them seem more real, and makes it seem much more impressive when your character overcomes an issue that they have been struggling with in the rp. I think it would be really cool to have her have a cold and quiet outer demeanor, but on the inside be really damaged by the loss of her parents. Just a suggestion. Other than that, the only other thing I would suggest is to make your character seem more her age. By that I mean point out that she's really not that old, and that just like any kid who's a teenager, can have trouble that only a hug can solve sometimes. You could throw in some instances when only her friends can help her out of a situation, and only their compassion and care for her feeling could solve the problem. You could also throw in some other non touchy-feely examples, like her getting thrown out of a bar for being underage, or yelled at by a guard for smoking. Just some examples that I think would work to round her out a little bit better. Overall, I think that if you just show her sensitive side a little bit more you'll be good to go. And not just all that mushy stuff, just throw a little but more emotion into her, whether it be jealousy, anger, sadness, joy, etc. Really, though, I think that Neko is one of the best characters around here.
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Neki
EcoGrid Master
Just a Doll in a Belfry
Posts: 683
RP Characters: Mykah Mikelle, Shinrah Marr, Lyr Ballamy
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Post by Neki on May 13, 2010 11:00:53 GMT -5
Thanx! And thanks for the critigqu. Its really going to help as I work on rewriting her.
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adeco
EcoGrid Master
[M:-6810]
Up , up , and AWAY!
Posts: 773
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Post by adeco on May 13, 2010 11:18:34 GMT -5
She's still going to be Rawling's lil sis right?
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imelza0
Metal Kor
[M:-900]
Stegosaurus
Posts: 116
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Post by imelza0 on May 14, 2010 8:16:57 GMT -5
Oh my god, she's Rawling's little sister? How in god's name did I miss that? OK, then. Carry on. Sounds cool, I just never saw that for some reason, even though it's most likely in both of their profiles...
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raven
Metal Kor
[M:-100]
My heart can't break when it wasn't even whole to start with
Posts: 107
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Post by raven on May 14, 2010 10:45:25 GMT -5
I definitely like Neko i havent had much of a chance to rp with her but just from what ive seen she is really cool but yea definitely show a bit of sensitivity it would be nice lol
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Neki
EcoGrid Master
Just a Doll in a Belfry
Posts: 683
RP Characters: Mykah Mikelle, Shinrah Marr, Lyr Ballamy
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Post by Neki on May 14, 2010 10:46:09 GMT -5
Of course she'll still be Rawlings little sis! I just realized she was my first character and she thinks she can doe veything in the world all by herself. And I think I put it in the history they are siblings, but maybe I forgot to add that. lol
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adeco
EcoGrid Master
[M:-6810]
Up , up , and AWAY!
Posts: 773
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Post by adeco on Jun 20, 2010 2:11:03 GMT -5
Is that a problem imelza? i honestly thought it was a creative tick between two characters from two different RPers. But anyways, i think I updated Rawlings profile about that. Even changing his name with the last name "Vallon".
I constantly modify Rawling's profile to fit what's going on on the RP. If any other character has an event where it changes their lives I'll modify it. Not just that, I recently got some inspiration for what kind of uses Rawling can have with his powers. But I keep to the character as a person. None of my characters have changed their personality.
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Neki
EcoGrid Master
Just a Doll in a Belfry
Posts: 683
RP Characters: Mykah Mikelle, Shinrah Marr, Lyr Ballamy
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Post by Neki on Jun 22, 2010 12:50:13 GMT -5
I'm not exactly changing her personality, just updating it to what it to match the way I roleplay her. I had her written originally as a calm person, but she's really anything but. I had to fix that. And the wole thing in general just needed to be more exact. I really had alot of fixing to do, and I am still working on it. :3
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adeco
EcoGrid Master
[M:-6810]
Up , up , and AWAY!
Posts: 773
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Post by adeco on Jun 29, 2010 23:02:35 GMT -5
Make her more like you. That's what I did. What ever Rawling does in the RP, whatever decisions and actions he takes, whatever he would say. I would do the same.
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