Paranoia ;;DJ;;

[Nelly]

That stole her attention immediately.

Oh, my, she thought. Naturally, Ellie felt sorry for the man. She wondered how and why this city was so poorly governed. Why couldn’t things be easier? She frowned.

So there was he and his comrade, who’d supposedly been living on the streets. Then there was his departed father, and the whole Krimzon Guard organization that he was trying to revere. Despite her own situations, she felt sincere sympathy for the man that was about to arrest her. She couldn’t help it.

Noel dropped her gaze, feeling guilty. She hadn’t known how much her existence in that prison really mattered to the man. She actually kinda considered giving up her rightful freedom and going back to that wretched place, just for his sake.

But then Ellie remembered what her Aunty had told her one day when her sympathy for another had caused her considerable misfortune. “Live and let live, sweetie.” The elderly woman’s soft voice rang kindly in her ears. “Don’t be afraid to chase what you alone need and want. Compassion is good, but determination is better.” The memory had a fresh wave of tears spill over her cheeks.

She had nothing to return to, but she wished she did. She wished her Aunty hadn’t passed away, that she still had a happy life on some Cherokee reserve.

Noel wished to leave this God-forsaken city and forget about all of it. She took a deep breath. Then she spoke for the first time.

“I just want to go home…” she whispered, her soft voice wavering slightly. And it was true.

[Darkjak87]

It was heartbreaking. It really was. And Zrion couldn't stand it. Seeing her there, hiding behind her bloodied, tattered wings, with a desperate expression on her face and tears in her eyes, he just couldn't stand it.

He turned around, abruptly turning his back to the girl and he clenched his fists. He couldn't do this. Despite all he had, and all that he could lose, he simply couldn't do it. She's a 16 year old girl, who just spent so much time in the KG fortress, going through experiments that would make even those with the strongest stomachs physically ill, and here I am ordered to bring her back.

And for the first time, Zrion hesitated. He refused to do this. No, consequences be damned, he refused to do this.

I only hope I am about to do what my Father would have.

He took a breath, and let it back out. He slowly reached up, and grasped his helmet. He twisted it slightly to the side, to release the clamps that held it in place, and pulled it off his head completely. He had to wait a few seconds, before his eyes fully adjusted to the darkness that enveloped him. Disgusted with what it represented, Zrion let it drop onto the floor, where it rolled a few feet before it came to rest against the wall.

He slowly turned towards the girl, revealing his face for the first time. His right eye, deep, dark blue. His left eye, gray and colorless with a hideous scar crossing it. The rest of his face, marred in various places in scars from his missions. Missions that only the Special Operations were willing to do.

He sighed again, before he spoke. "I'm not going to do it. I won't put you back in that place. I've seen what it's like, and only the worst people deserve something like that. But definitely not you. It sickens me. I have no idea how I'm going to save my own skin from this, but I just can't do it. I'm not going to arrest you."

He massaged his forehead, trying to stave off the headache that was coming on.

He gave another glance to the girl. "I don't know what you're going to do now, but it is no longer in my hands. I'm sorry I came here tonight."

He walked over to his rifle, and picked it up. Slinging it over his shoulder so it hung down his back, he then walked back, scooped up his helmet, and walked out of the room.

All the while, he had to wonder if he would regret this decision.

[Nelly]

Ellie let out a small gasp when she saw his marred face for the first time. She could see just how tough this man really was. It only made her fear him more, though her sympathy for him still burned inside her heart. She would tell he’d been through many hardships; more that she could have possible ever imagined. Noel tilted her head to the side, though unaware, as she took in his features.

He was still handsome, despite all the scars his face bared. As she had come to expect, he had those elfish ears that gave her the strange urge to touch them, just to see if they were truly what her eyes told her of. A child’s curiosity; always strange.

And when he spoke, she heard a genuine burden in his voice. His words, as well. She bit her lip. Had he really just allowed her to go? Yes… he had. Noel didn’t know how to respond to his sudden change of heart. No, he had told her all along, this was not his wish. Noel realized that he had been trying to tell her right from the moment they had met that he wasn’t like the others. He wasn’t a bad person. She did a mental palm-to-face. She knew she should have been grateful. And she was. But she was also scared for the officer. What was going to happen to him? She felt terribly guilty for having caused any of this.

It was all her fault. She didn’t know how, but it was all her fault.

She frowned, dazed, and slowly released her grasp around the dagger. It hurt to uncurl her fingers after clenching them so hard and for so long. Her hands were still shaking.

Then he left.

For a moment she sat there, feeling horrible. Ellie’s thoughts were scrambled, and she only knew two things for sure: One, she was free. Two, the officer was going to be in trouble.

Suddenly, with out realizing it until she was up and out of the closet, she was sprinting after him. She had no idea what made her do such a thing; she only knew that her feet carried her down to the hall as quick as they could.

Noel caught up to the officer at the end of the hall, at the top of the flight of old wooden stairs. Without a warning, she half tackled, half hugged him from behind. She had not the slightest idea as to why she did this, but she hugged him anyway, leaning her cheek on his dark armor.

“Thank you,” she whispered meekly. That made her feel better, but she still felt that awful guilt that burdened her conscience. Ellie looked up at him, worry in her eyes. What was he going to do now? Maybe there was a slight chance he could be given exception for that one little mission. Maybe not. She shut her eyes, sighing.

[Darkjak87]

As he walked, Zrion was nothing short of broken. His shoulders were slightly slumped, and his feet were almost dragging across the floor. This disgrace to military posture was the result of only one thing.

His failure.

And his first one at that.

He was split inside. His mind screaming at him to go back and arrest her, that she wasn't worth the lives of himself and Zephan.

His heart was screaming the opposite. He did have a feeling of warmth from doing this, from sparing her from that place.

But it did little to comfort him.

By the Precursors, what have I done? If I tell them I refused to arrest her, I will be arrested for treason. If I'm thrown in jail, then undoubtedly they will discover that I am an ecoist. And I shudder to think at what would happen then.

It was a problem with no solution. He could arrest her, there was nothing preventing him from doing so, but he would kill himself inside with his guilt.

Bah, some soldier I am. I can't even arrest a little girl!

But that got him thinking. What was he actually fighting for? Praxis? Hell no, he hated the man. Haven City? Well, that's certainly what he liked to think. Why would this 16 year old pose such a threat to Haven that they needed what was apparently their best soldier?

It didn't make sense.

Any. ****. Sense.

Well, I could always join the underground, he mused. I know that their leader used to be a KG. Only problem is, they'd probably have me shot considering all the surgical strikes I've led on their outposts. And besides, my Father would roll over in his grave if I did.

He sighed. What was he? A monster? Sometimes he wished he was. Was he a coward? No, not that. He certainly never hesitated in battle.

Precursors, I'm such a failure.

That was when he heard footsteps, running towards him. Startled, he stopped walking and he turned around, afraid he was under attack.

And he was.

Sort of.

The girl flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around him and making him jump in surprise. She was hugging him.

Well, he certainly wasn't expecting that.

"Thank you." The girl sounded sincere when she said it.

Her presence only increased his conflictual feelings. Arrest her? Spare her? What should he do? WHAT SHOULD HE DO?

But he said none of this out loud. All that he had from this was his own conscious, and her gratitude. He wanted to say it was no problem, that she didn't deserve her punishment.

She didn't deserve her punishment, but he did have a problem.

He didn't know what to do. He couldn't even look at her without being reminded of his turmoil. She herself was a physical reminder of his inability to do what needed to be done. And even further than that, she reminded him of one thing.

What was Zrion fighting for?

He still didn't know.

But he would put on a facade. He still cared about making an image for himself. This was something that he had to resolve on his own. She couldn't know about his internal conflicts.

It was weak of him. And he hated that.

But in the meantime, he had to step backwards some, forcing her to let go of him. If there was anything that Zrion lacked, it was how to respond to things like that.

"It was nothing." An outright lie. But it was one that he had to pull off convincingly.

He extended his hand towards her, offering to help her stand up.

But all the time, the question rang through his mind.

What was he fighting for?

[Nelly]

Ellie felt him tense when she embraced him.

She knew it must be hard for him; being trained a soldier of no feeling and all. He had his heart all locked up, from what she could see. His position in the Krimzon Guard was that only for a strong, willing man, and she knew that’s what he had brought himself to be.

Trying to leave all else out.

But her absence in that prison would not only irritate the officer’s superiors, but Erol overall, and he was going to give his men hell. Noel tried not to think of this, but even so, a wave of guilt practically slapped her in the face.

But what was she going to do with her newly salvaged freedom? She still had to lay low. If she were to be imprisoned again, despite this man’s generosity, she would certainly not have another chance to escape.

Then the man moved away, causing Ellie to fall back rather ungracefully.

She had actually somewhat expected it.

He shook off her thanks with a casual tone, though his eyes told another story. He seemed to be at war with himself. But she wouldn’t intrude. She simply laid her hand in the one he offered and pulled herself to her feet. Noel shook herself, mostly to settle her feathers back into an orderly fashion.

She looked at the soldier, her face a big frown. “I feel bad… about all of this.” Her eyes met his momentarily, and then she dropped her gaze.

She sighed, glancing over her shoulder and down the hall. It seemed so eerie. Ellie wrapped her arms around herself, suppressing a shiver. This was just too damn much. She didn’t sign up for any of this. She hated that her freedom conflicted with his, that life couldn’t be just dandy and everyone couldn’t be happy.

It was all so stupid.

[Darkjak87]

Zrion immediately felt regret at his actions. After all, she had made an attempt to show her gratitude, and he had simply let her fall over. A little ashamed, he stepped back a little, hopefully to provide a hint that it wasn't something she should try again. Because really, he wasn't someone who responded well to affection. That honestly wasn't the life he had lived.

He tried to keep his face blank, as she told him that she was guilty. He didn't quite succeed. A mixture of his own guilt and grief showed, just ever so slightly, before he managed to force the alien expression off his face.

Why do I feel guilty, damn it? If anything, this is her fault!

He thought it, and immediately hated himself for it. How could he say it was her fault, when it was no one's but his own, and the KG in general? What had become of the society he had been raised and trained to protect? He wasn't certain, and he didn't like that.

But then he had to wonder for the girl's safety. She had spoken of some sort of reservation...Cherokee, was it? He had never heard of it himself, but obviously she had some sort of life back there. But how would she get there? Obviously she had no desire to stay in the city, and he couldn't say he blamed her. Hell, even he might have to leave the city at this point.

Speaking of which, he still had no idea how he was going to get out of this.

Crap.

But never-mind, he would worry about that later. He certainly didn't risk his own life to save hers, only for her to run off and die in the Wasteland, or worse, get arrested again.

Should I invite her to stay at my house? That would be awkward, to say the least. After all, she was a 16 year old girl, and he had no idea how to deal with teenagers or children at all. Plus he had no idea how Zephan would react to all this.

He blinked.

The hell I don't, he will hate it.

Not to mention, it might be dangerous for her because the KG might demand to search his house.

He couldn't imagine why they would, since he had never done anything to make them mistrust him before, but that was a big risk.

But where else would she go?

He decided to inquire first, to see if she had a plan of some sort, or anywhere at all she could go.

He looked directly at her face, ignoring how it raised the feeling of his conflicting emotions.

"Do you know what you're going to do now?"

[Nelly]

Ellie wrenched her gaze from the hallway, which was vaguely reminding her of Stephen King’s Room 217 or whatever it was. She shrugged away the paranoia and fidgeted a little bit.

She had no clue what she was going to do now that she was free. She would surely need some time to heal, both body and mind. Noel had scratches and bruises all over, and possibly infections in her wings from those horrid restraints. Her geniality had gone from being so warm and open to frightened and cheerless. And to add to that, that perverted Erol bastard had probably scarred her for life. Little Ellie wasn’t quite in shape to go off by herself back into that horrible waste territory.

Hell, she wasn’t even sure if she could survive the city for as long as she probably needed to.

Noel turned her eyes back to the officer. Oh… she didn’t even know his name yet. She hadn’t told him hers, either.

Come to think of it, she hadn’t told anyone.

So, to everyone who knew, she was simply ‘The Winged Girl Who Escaped.’ Yuck. It wouldn’t hurt to reveal her name, would it? She doubted it. Maybe she would come to trust this man enough to tell him. He could be the first one to know. The only one to know.

The man seemed to be thinking. She started to think about leaving him be, to go face the streets once and for all, but then he looked her straight in the eye.

She tried, unsuccessfully, not to flinch under his gaze. He asked her what she planned to do.

She shook her head, and said, “No. I don’t.” She considered just finding some deserted building and staying there while she healed. But the thought of being alone in a place like that drove her near to insane.

[Darkjak87]

Well, crap. Now what? It's not like I can just leave her here. If I don't arrest her then someone else will find her. But if I offer her a place in my home, then it puts both of our lives - and Zephan's - at risk.

But it wasn't like she had anywhere else to go. So what should he do?

He considered his chances of the KG not dropping by his house to see what was going on. If he didn't report at all, then it was pretty much guaranteed that they would come to his home. Unannounced, probably.

Perhaps if he fed them some story about how he couldn't find her?

He mentally shook his head. No, that will never work. I'm an expert in my specialty, they will never believe I couldn't find a 16 year old girl with wings. And besides, that would be humiliating anyway, and I'd prefer to avoid it...

So what was left? Obviously he couldn't outright lie, and ignoring the problem would be even worse.

He eventually decided on a compromise. He would offer her a place in his home, temporarily, and work with Zephan and the girl herself to try and figure out a solution. Since he had until the end of the week to find her, then it would only be necessary to give periodic status updates until his deadline. By then, he would hopefully have a solution.

He again made eye contact. "Well, I can say one thing for sure. You're not going to last long out there" - he jerked his head towards the street - "without some help. It's tough out there, as my friend can tell you. So I'm going to offer you a place to stay, in my home. I have room, and you won't be a burden to my supply of funds either. My roommate won't like it, but I can deal with him. I have until the end of the week to 'capture' you, so you can safely stay there until then, as long as I give status updates. By the end of the week, hopefully we will have figured something out."

Well, there it was. He offered, and he couldn't take it back now.

Precursors, I hope I can find a way out of this.

[Nelly]

Ellie’s own thoughts were at war as well. She didn’t know whether she should just give an attempt at fleeing this city, or simply just let him arrest her. Then everyone would be happy. Except her, of course. But then again, what did it matter? She had nowhere to go, no people to love, nothing except the dagger and the locket that hung around her neck. So why should she be let loose when the person that really matters is risking his life? No… what was she thinking? She had to be rational… She did matter. Right? She didn’t do anything wrong. It was all Erol’s fault, if anyone’s.

Probably even that Praxis guy.

She sighed and studied the man’s face. He seemed to be thinking. Doubtful thoughts, perhaps? She did not know.

Noel looked down, fingering the melody locket that hung beside her dagger. Yes, it too had been a gift from Benita. Only this little trinket was something the woman herself had crafted. Its aged silver covering was engraved with intricate swirls that turned into feathers. It played a slow chime when opened and wound, a song that reminded her of a boat sailing across calm waters, under the blue light of the moon. She had played it when in that dark cell, to make sure she wouldn’t forget her beloved Aunty Benita.

Ellie cradled it in her palm for a minute or two, lost in her thoughts.

Then she glanced back at the man. She eventually put the locket away, where it was just barely hidden beneath the neckline of her filthy tank top. He was looking at her again, obviously about to speak. And when he did, there was a cautious edge to his voice. She listened, and as he continued, her eyes probably grew larger and larger, looking more and more like a cartoon.

Stay at his house?

Oh, but wouldn’t be the last place to stay? Well, now that she got to thinking about it, it would be the last place anyone would suspect. And that was very nice of him, she thought. Noel looked at her feet for a moment, trying to control her racing thoughts. Having thought long and hard, she came to an agreement. She would stay at his house, up to a week, but no longer. Lay low, and maybe find someplace to stay somewhat permanently during her stay in Haven City. She nodded absently. Yes. She’d do it.

Then she lifted her gaze and asked, “What’s your name?”

[Darkjak87]

He stared at her for just a few moments.

"...Zrion...James Zrion." Just a slight bit of hesitation.

It was very odd. To share his name like this in uniform. He was so used to his last name being used in almost every situation that it was almost like he didn't even have a first name.

"I prefer Zrion though...Habit."

He thought it odd that when Drekker had given him his mission that he had not shared the girls name, not the first or last.

"What is your name?"